I wanted to get revenge.

Have you ever felt angry or hurt by someone and just wanted to get revenge? I know every person in this world has had a moment where they have been wronged, even my 3 year old son!

When I was in my last year of elementary school I stopped going because I was getting bullied. My Mum started taking me to work and I begged her to let me change schools. I went to a new school, made some friends and enjoyed going.

The first year of college I had my new friends to hang out with and I felt confident that the people that used to make me feel so low, deserved to feel the same way as they had made me feel. I would call them names, shout stuff at them at lunchtime, pull their hair in class and throw the top seal of my yogurt at them. At the end of the year one of the girls gave me a Christmas card and a small present and I had this flood of guilt come over me. I had acted out of hurt and resentment but It made me more angry and more bitter and not a nice person at all. I made the decision that the next year I would show love, forgiveness and kindness to people around me and not try and repay the feeling that I had felt back, why would I ever want someone to feel like that anyway! Even at the age of 14 I knew I was suppose to live and love differently than what the normal is.

Recently, I have been reading about David in the Bible. King Saul who was his father in-law, the king that he had helped get through many battles, his best friends father and the one he played music to make him calm, was determined to kill David. Chasing him and sending armies after David. Because Saul was Jealous of David he tried to take his life. David hid in caves and literally ran from his home to stay alive.

What really spoke to me in this all of this how David responded, when David got the chance to kill Saul he chose not to but instead said these very words “As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you.” ‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭24:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There are so many chances to repay evil with evil, but God has called us to repay hurt with love and forgiveness and when we do that, we can live free lives, free from the weight of holding onto Past hurts, “I should have said this” or next time “I’ll show them.” We can’t control other peoples actions, but we can control how we respond and act. Let God be God in your situation. Don’t dwell on the wrongs that have been done , don’t let yourself be weighed down by a chance to get revenge, but look at the good and that Jesus has set us free, He wants us to live differently, go to Him for healing not holding onto the chance for revenge because he doesn’t want that to be our burden or our responsibility. Instead of cursing, love. In place of  hate, bring Gods ways into every area of your life. God will have his way fully in your life because you have let Him. 

And now that I think of it, if I had never felt the need to move schools, I may have not made one the the most precious friendships that I still have to this day.

Ecclesiates 3:11 “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”



Hello big ears.

When I was at primary/elementary school I was playing a game in the playground, when one of the boys said to me “You have big ears and ugly eyebrows”. I don’t think I even reacted to him and I just kept playing the game. After that I had this complex thinking my ears were huge! I left my hair out, it was long and then one of my teachers told me I had to tie my hair up…I cut it all off so I wouldn’t have to show my ears.

When I got my hands on some tweezers I pretty much pulled of my entire eyebrows. This was years later.

I remember once my teacher saying that his wife had a really amazing voice but once a bitter old woman said something nasty about her singing and she never sang again.

There are so many voices are out there to destroy our confidence and self worth. Something meaningless and small slipping in and making us afraid or self conscience of something we didn’t even know we could.

It doesn’t matter how old or how young we are, we can all be susceptible to hearing “voices” which do not gain any benefit for our future and definitely no great fruit for our lives.

Be the voice of encouragement that pushes people up to shine, believe what God says about you and your value, that he made you and thought of you before the creation of this world…and no he doesn’t make mistakes, He has gifted you.

Words have the power to bring life or death.

What words are we speaking? Are they being life to people or the opposite?

What words are we believing?

Let go and ask God to set you free from any false words that you have believed because Gods spirit brings freedom. And having freedom means being healed and able to run and become all we are supposed to be.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

If you need it, here is a quick prayer for you to ask God to help you today.

“Thank you God for creating me, help me to see and discover all you have for me and those around me. Holy Spirit have your way in my life, heal me and take away negative beliefs from the past so I can live in true freedom! In Jesus name AMEN”

My toilet moment

It was my last Sunday in Japan. I had cried more in the last month than I think I had in my whole life. How rich and vast were the friendships I had made and how much God had transformed our life in our church and in this beautiful country over the years. There was brokenness, stress and sadness to leave because we love Japan so much. God had told us it was time for the next season and of course we would follow.

I went to church as usual and burst out crying when trying to pray with everyone before church….agh, how was I going to lead worship? Sometimes I would get a little teary normally just worshiping but How weird and awkward would it be if the worship leader said “Welcome to church” and then cried ugly tears the entire praise and worship set.

I went to the toilet before the service started and I said “I need your help, I can’t do this without you” there and then I felt a warm strength like God was wrapping his arms around me and holding me “I Got you”.

As we started Worship it stayed and got stronger, we had a powerful, joyous, fun and magnificent time lifting up the name of Jesus! It was the best!

Who would have thought that God would powerfully touch my life in the toilet lol

But you know, God is not limited to a place, he is a big glorious God who will move if we just say the words “I need you”

Whether it be in the car, toilet, shower, shop, church, friends house and whatever situation you may be in don’t be afraid to ask for His help, His love and His power in your life, Because God is big and He’s got you.

Don’t be fooled

There’s a common thing that happens to surfers when we go out into the sea, after checking the surf, we paddle out and then while waiting for a set of waves to roll in, looking down to our left or right and the waves look like they are breaking better and more frequantly, If we paddle down and look where we just were, guess what? The waves look like they are breaking better and more frequently there! If you’re not careful you can end up spending your time paddling to and from and just wishing you were at either place!

I have to remind myself in that situation not to be fooled, which is sometimes so hard.

Quite often if I am patient the waves will come to me or it’s just an illusion that it’s better either side of me.

Hello, real world. What about our life situations?

We may feel when we look to the left or to the right at someone’s else’s life or on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagra, other families , lifestyles that life would be better “somewhere else” or our situation would be so much more fulfilling doing what “someone else is doing”.

The thought “if only” will kill your joy and ability to enjoy life where you are at.

If only I had a partner who was like this.

If only I had this thing.

If only I lived in that country.

If only I had a family like that.

If only I had more money.

If only I had more time.

If only I was taller, smarter, funnier, more talented.

Then I would be happy.

Setting goals and pushing forward towards your best is such a great and powerful thing to do, but it is also important to learnt how to find joy and happiness where you are now, enjoying being patient, achieving things, being content with what you have, because unless we learn how to be able to be filled with joy where we are at now there is no job, no partner, no place, no material thing, that will make you find it because it comes from within.

Enjoy your place now.

Enjoy your relationships now.

Enjoy where you are at in your life now.

Be content and see how much it can transform your life!

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.”

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭6:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I called him a liar

Though I am and always have been a bit of a joker and somewhat lighthearted person, I struggled with the battle of trying to define who I was by other peoples thoughts of me.

I really believed that what and who I was could be shaped by how others perceived me. When you do this, it pretty much makes your life a bit a of an unstable mess.

Managing feelings of not being good enough, to the feeling of being a champion over and over.

Am I valuable because others say so?

Am I beautiful because others think so?

Am I special because of my surroundings.


One day something just clicked. I was sick of being ruled from the outside, fake thoughts and untrue ideas of myself and said “Devil you are a liar”

They are lies.

The truth is. God sees our worth, it’s worth his son living and dying for us.

God thought us through, before the start of creation. God made us unique and special, with the ability to develop the passions and gifts he has placed inside.

Being true to who God has created us to be is the ultimate way to live.

How can we live a purpose and successful life if we are trying to walk in shoes that do not fit.

Actions that I took to make change in how I could live this life true and real was this:

* Making sure I have God time, reading His word to see what He has to say to me.

* Unfollowing or choosing not to be around people who seem critical of others.

* Choosing how I speak about myself and others.

* What music am I listening to?

* What am I watching?

* Who am I listening to?

* What do I focus my thoughts and energy towards?

Being purposeful about how I live.

Awesome thing about breathing and living is that it’s a continual discovery, journey and decision to live in Gods best and be all he wants me to be and the closer we move towards His ways and who He is we can overcome any lies that we have believed in the past.

I know many people struggle with the same thing and I pray we all discover Gods value on us over and over again because he has made us all beautiful in His sight and we can walk His ways in the shoes best fitted for us.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

‭‭John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬


We’ve just started cleaning up my Mums property this week after years, maybe 10 or more of letting plants just grow. This house is not like your average backyard, it is a pretty huge section with trees, blackberry bush and craziness taking over.

I remember when some of the vines were tiny and picking of a few berries as a teen.

Now the roots run deep, it’s even hard to find where the source is, some vines had pulled down fences and our friend even came in with a digger to rip bushes out. But when we pulled them out and cut, dug, ripped those tree and bushes out we were all surprised how much room there was and how much light was getting into the section.

Oh how much is this like our lives. When we have something undealt with. An issue, hurt, insecurities, areas of weakness, unforgiveness, things we think we can just leave and walk away and months or years later we find ourselves crossing boundaries we have put up, saying, thinking or acting in ways which are not in line with how we would like to live, or helpful for a fruitful life.

It’s almost hard to find the root of the problem or the cause sometimes. “Why am I getting so angry?” …”Why can I not control that area of my life?”…..”Why am I so sensitive to those words”, I don’t know what it is but I know it could be a list of things for many people.

We can’t just leave things to “be” and hope time will make it “go away”.

We need to be open to cut down those brunches and find the source and uproot it. Getting healing and help through Jesus is the absolute best way and he sometimes makes us work through it slowly cutting each brunch and in some amazing points He comes in with that powerful word which is like the digger pulling everything out from the roots.

I am choosing to keep an eye out for any “brunches” that don’t look fruitful, cut them and uproot the source before it gets out of hand and am so excited for all the room there is for growth and fruitfulness in all areas of life as I do this.

It’s a New Year and isn’t that the best time to reflect and decide to do the best for yourself and those around you by letting Him transform you into your best!

Happy gardening 🙂

Last blog 2017

As 2017 starts to wrap up and the excitement of Christmas looks towards the New Year I’m sure a lot of us are reflecting on many things that happened in the year.

I am now writing this from our home in New Zealand which is a surreal feeling.

This time last year we were in the beautiful winter of Japan after enjoying Christmas with our friends, little did we know God was going to flip our worlds completely around and bring us back to our roots and we would be slapping on sunblock before our Christmas feasts surrounded by family this year.

Peace. This word would be the biggest and most important for me personally this year.

We had many big decisions to make and it all came back to following Gods peace.

So many times we had choices that had to be made, everytime I tried to just look from the outside it was very unsettling. From continuing what we were doing, whether or not to buy a house, what to write about or message to preach, what country to live, what accommodation to use, where to eat, when to fly, who to talk to, how to solve a problem and how to do life. But God shows us, leads us and empowers us to push forward towards His best and our best while walking in a crazy sort of peace which is hard to understand.

To be honest there were a lot of moments where things sounded good, or seemed “perfect” at the time, but God doesn’t just look at our current position or moment, He looks at our tomorrows, our years and our generations to come.

Learning to walk following that “peace” is something I am definitely learning but it’s so amazing when you continue to pursue Gods best for your life.

It’s about walking day to day aware, and not being shut off or just living on “function” mode and just gliding through.

Thank God I can say that we are healthy, happy and have gone through another year in His grace and am grateful for His guidance throughout this crazy year.

I am looking forward to seeing what’s next for the New Year and I am sure it will be packed with some “Peace following decisions” and some incredible Wow moments.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬