I wanted to get revenge.

Have you ever felt angry or hurt by someone and just wanted to get revenge? I know every person in this world has had a moment where they have been wronged, even my 3 year old son!

When I was in my last year of elementary school I stopped going because I was getting bullied. My Mum started taking me to work and I begged her to let me change schools. I went to a new school, made some friends and enjoyed going.

The first year of college I had my new friends to hang out with and I felt confident that the people that used to make me feel so low, deserved to feel the same way as they had made me feel. I would call them names, shout stuff at them at lunchtime, pull their hair in class and throw the top seal of my yogurt at them. At the end of the year one of the girls gave me a Christmas card and a small present and I had this flood of guilt come over me. I had acted out of hurt and resentment but It made me more angry and more bitter and not a nice person at all. I made the decision that the next year I would show love, forgiveness and kindness to people around me and not try and repay the feeling that I had felt back, why would I ever want someone to feel like that anyway! Even at the age of 14 I knew I was suppose to live and love differently than what the normal is.

Recently, I have been reading about David in the Bible. King Saul who was his father in-law, the king that he had helped get through many battles, his best friends father and the one he played music to make him calm, was determined to kill David. Chasing him and sending armies after David. Because Saul was Jealous of David he tried to take his life. David hid in caves and literally ran from his home to stay alive.

What really spoke to me in this all of this how David responded, when David got the chance to kill Saul he chose not to but instead said these very words “As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you.” ‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭24:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There are so many chances to repay evil with evil, but God has called us to repay hurt with love and forgiveness and when we do that, we can live free lives, free from the weight of holding onto Past hurts, “I should have said this” or next time “I’ll show them.” We can’t control other peoples actions, but we can control how we respond and act. Let God be God in your situation. Don’t dwell on the wrongs that have been done , don’t let yourself be weighed down by a chance to get revenge, but look at the good and that Jesus has set us free, He wants us to live differently, go to Him for healing not holding onto the chance for revenge because he doesn’t want that to be our burden or our responsibility. Instead of cursing, love. In place of  hate, bring Gods ways into every area of your life. God will have his way fully in your life because you have let Him. 

And now that I think of it, if I had never felt the need to move schools, I may have not made one the the most precious friendships that I still have to this day.

Ecclesiates 3:11 “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”

 

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Don’t be fooled

There’s a common thing that happens to surfers when we go out into the sea, after checking the surf, we paddle out and then while waiting for a set of waves to roll in, looking down to our left or right and the waves look like they are breaking better and more frequantly, If we paddle down and look where we just were, guess what? The waves look like they are breaking better and more frequently there! If you’re not careful you can end up spending your time paddling to and from and just wishing you were at either place!

I have to remind myself in that situation not to be fooled, which is sometimes so hard.

Quite often if I am patient the waves will come to me or it’s just an illusion that it’s better either side of me.

Hello, real world. What about our life situations?

We may feel when we look to the left or to the right at someone’s else’s life or on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagra, other families , lifestyles that life would be better “somewhere else” or our situation would be so much more fulfilling doing what “someone else is doing”.

The thought “if only” will kill your joy and ability to enjoy life where you are at.

If only I had a partner who was like this.

If only I had this thing.

If only I lived in that country.

If only I had a family like that.

If only I had more money.

If only I had more time.

If only I was taller, smarter, funnier, more talented.

Then I would be happy.

Setting goals and pushing forward towards your best is such a great and powerful thing to do, but it is also important to learnt how to find joy and happiness where you are now, enjoying being patient, achieving things, being content with what you have, because unless we learn how to be able to be filled with joy where we are at now there is no job, no partner, no place, no material thing, that will make you find it because it comes from within.

Enjoy your place now.

Enjoy your relationships now.

Enjoy where you are at in your life now.

Be content and see how much it can transform your life!

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.”

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭6:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I only have this…. 

“We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered. “Bring them here to me,” he said.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭14:17-18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Oh how many times have I felt like this, being asked to do something or help someone beyond what I feel I have to give. 

In the scripture above Jesus was asking the disciples to feed thousands of people, and in their eyes they wanted to send them away because they “didn’t have enough”.  

Yeah, if I was there I would be thinking the exact same thing….” but we only have this”

When I first started writing this blog weekly this was exactly how I felt. I really want to impact people, share Gods love and lift others up. I was honestly asking myself what platform I could use…I had only limited time, limited resources, limited opportunities to share. I said to Jesus “I only have this, but I give it to you and if it impacts one person that’s enough for me”. It’s been about 8 months now and there’s been over 2000 people who have read something, I have had so many people message or tell me how they have been impacted by the blog, being ready to draw closer to God again, realize their value in him and other stories of healing because I gave what I had to be used. 

Jesus asked the disciples to bring whatever they had and give it to him and when they did he blessed what they gave, they handed it out to the people and there was more than enough.
When we find ourselves saying “I only have this” and give whatever small portion we do have to Jesus, he multiplies it through us. Supplies what others needed but doesn’t leave us without, actually we are left with more than what we started with. 
Whether it be in friendship, sharing Gods word, money, time, resources, prayer or talents, whatever it is that you feel God asking to give to him to bless and help others just do it! Of course what we have is not enough, or else we wouldn’t need faith! 
But with Him we have more than enough. 

Could you imagine yourself impacting one person with what you have….how about thousands? There’s really no limit to what God can do through you! 

Things start out small 

When we plant any seeds, in the natural we expect a harvest. 

I tried gardening once….it was pretty bad. I don’t have a green thumb that’s for sure and to be honest I’m pretty neglectful and lazy when it comes to watering, weeding and getting rid of bugs. My landlord once saw my garden and felt sorry for me, it was pretty funny. The next day my Landlord came and planted a whole lot of tomatoes that he had grown from seeds, he would care for then every day and of course they reduced beautiful tasting tomatoes! 

When we plant in our lives in differnt areas we will get something from it.

You want better friends? Sow seeds of good friendship, stop and ask “Is this going to be a good seed or am I planting a weed?”.
For friendships:

Praying for our friends, encouraging, giving, to them, spending time together. You want better environment at work? What seeds are you planting? Is this word I’m speaking or Attitide I have and am I saying good things about my work collegues or boss. 

Is this a Good seed or a weed?

We can plant seeds daily towards many areas of our lives; work, love towards others, love towards self, relationships, healing, finances, gift development, spiritual, goals.

No one has a garden and decides to plant weeds. So why do we do it so many times in our daily lives? 

 Asking God to take away the bad more room for good is a great way to “garden” our lives. 

I’m sure we all want greatness and good stuff in our lives and the results always come from the small seeds that we plant today. Keep planting and being aware of what “kind” of seed you’re planting and have vision to see something big and great come from it! 
“Surely he says this for us, doesn’t he? Yes, this was written for us, because whoever plows and threshes should be able to do so in the hope of sharing in the harvest.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭9:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Why I stopped posting negative stuff.

I used to air every annoyance, or complaint that I had, something that someone did against me or something I didn’t like to someone on social media.I’d try find humorous ways or just blatantly say it. I mean who gets harmed by my negativity anyways……
If you follow any of my posts or social media you won’t find anything negative on there. Not a story, a complaint or a joke. Years ago I decided to stop.

Why? 

I realized I have the power to impact people in a positive or a negative way, I can show the good that’s happening in life or talk about the imperfections. 

I believe part of the importance of being a Christian is showing hope, joy and the choice of happiness in this world rather than soaking up and spilling out the negativity which is everywhere.

I’d rather be around someone who uplifts me and leaves me feeling great than around someone who leaves me feeling angry, hopeless and annoyed at the world around me. 

Before every lifegroup we ask “Who has good news”. Why do we start like this? It’s to make us start by focusing on the good that happened this week and shift our eyes to gratitude. 

Are we gonna be the darkness? Or are we gonna be the light? 
I wanna be the light! The world is full of darkness, but darkness doesn’t inspire or give life, light and love do. 

That is my why. 
When people see what I write, what I post, I want their eyes and souls to be soaking up something good and not bad. So what I choose to put up is what I’m choosing to give others and what I choose to read is what I’m choosing to feed my soul.

This scripture pretty much sums it up. 

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”‭‭ Matthew‬ ‭6:22-23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

The right kind of worship

My most intimate, powerful, breakthrough, healing, inspiring and favorite moments have been during worship. Lifting up the name of Jesus, declaring that he is no 1, His name is powerful and thanking him for the great things he has done.
I’ve sometimes heard some people say “I can’t worship to this song” or “I find it hard to worship with this band” the problems of it’s too loud or quiet, a full band, not enough musicians, the room is too “Holy” or not Holy enough, the style, the length these things start to get in the way and I want to say one thing. 
If there is a problem for you to worship….it reflects the condition of the heart.
Worshiping God is about the heart of surrendering yourself to Him and lifting up the name of Jesus because He is so good.

Getting past the place or the time or the song will release you to worship more and get more than ever before.

I have had so many different times of worship which have impacted my life. 
At a camp fire, in a concert hall, a class room, my car, with one friend in my house, with a group of friends in a bus, on my kitchen floor, with a full band, when I have felt like it and when I didn’t, with edm, with my ukulele alone, at a funeral, a wedding, a birthday party, at church, in my lowest moments and at my highest points.

There is something about Worship that breaks through walls, sets us free and personally I get overwhelmed sometimes like God is giving me a big huge hug.

What ever moment that we go through or what ever place we find ourselves, no matter how big, small or great the band is, if we prepare ourselves to lift up God (because he is bigger than everything) I know without a doubt We can have moments with God anywhere. 

“Sing to the Lord, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.” ‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭16:23-24‬ ‭NIV‬‬

So you’re lucky enough to know my weak points.

Why does it seem that people are able to talk about someone they hardly know so well but those close to them are full of weaknesses?
It’s actually a privilege to know someone’s weakness. We often can see someone’s good points very fast, it’s almost like they are highlighted to us and as we get closer we see that this person is full of blemishes. 
If someone knows me very well and they choose to be my friend and love me despite my imperfections then I’ve just found a good friend.
What we choose to do with our overall knowledge of this person is where the level of friendship and Gods love comes in.
Do we choose to shine light on this persons strengths to others or do we tell others what we have observed or know about our friends faults. 
“Oh yes, she’s super generous but she doesn’t know how to save”

“She’s a good singer but she isn’t good at this and this”

“Yeah she’s got a high paid job but she talks about it too much”

What we decide to say shapes other people’s images of our friends and families.
We choose what words come out our mouth and what we choose to say to others. 
I want people to find out that I have been taking behind their back but in a good way, shining light on their good points and speaking life about them. 

How amazing if someone finds out you have been talking about them and they say “wow she really said that about me” and instead of feeling hurt they are feeling uplifted and empowered. 

There is no perfect person, no perfect family, no perfect church, job, husband or wife. The closer you get you will know and see the amazing and not so amazing parts and it’s a privilege to see those things.

Let’s choose to shine and give life to people, whether they are in the room or not. Speaking life and love about our relationships. 

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:29‬ ‭NIV‬‬