I wanted to get revenge.

Have you ever felt angry or hurt by someone and just wanted to get revenge? I know every person in this world has had a moment where they have been wronged, even my 3 year old son!

When I was in my last year of elementary school I stopped going because I was getting bullied. My Mum started taking me to work and I begged her to let me change schools. I went to a new school, made some friends and enjoyed going.

The first year of college I had my new friends to hang out with and I felt confident that the people that used to make me feel so low, deserved to feel the same way as they had made me feel. I would call them names, shout stuff at them at lunchtime, pull their hair in class and throw the top seal of my yogurt at them. At the end of the year one of the girls gave me a Christmas card and a small present and I had this flood of guilt come over me. I had acted out of hurt and resentment but It made me more angry and more bitter and not a nice person at all. I made the decision that the next year I would show love, forgiveness and kindness to people around me and not try and repay the feeling that I had felt back, why would I ever want someone to feel like that anyway! Even at the age of 14 I knew I was suppose to live and love differently than what the normal is.

Recently, I have been reading about David in the Bible. King Saul who was his father in-law, the king that he had helped get through many battles, his best friends father and the one he played music to make him calm, was determined to kill David. Chasing him and sending armies after David. Because Saul was Jealous of David he tried to take his life. David hid in caves and literally ran from his home to stay alive.

What really spoke to me in this all of this how David responded, when David got the chance to kill Saul he chose not to but instead said these very words “As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you.” ‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭24:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There are so many chances to repay evil with evil, but God has called us to repay hurt with love and forgiveness and when we do that, we can live free lives, free from the weight of holding onto Past hurts, “I should have said this” or next time “I’ll show them.” We can’t control other peoples actions, but we can control how we respond and act. Let God be God in your situation. Don’t dwell on the wrongs that have been done , don’t let yourself be weighed down by a chance to get revenge, but look at the good and that Jesus has set us free, He wants us to live differently, go to Him for healing not holding onto the chance for revenge because he doesn’t want that to be our burden or our responsibility. Instead of cursing, love. In place of  hate, bring Gods ways into every area of your life. God will have his way fully in your life because you have let Him. 

And now that I think of it, if I had never felt the need to move schools, I may have not made one the the most precious friendships that I still have to this day.

Ecclesiates 3:11 “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”

 

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Why are you running away?

There is a story in the bible about a man named Jonah. God spoke to him about his next step, Jonah chose to try and run away from God because he didn’t want to embarrass himself. In the end, he got swallowed by a fish, spat out at the place he was meant to go and found out that out of his obedience he saved thousands of men and woman.

I have to admit there have been times I have been challenged to potentially embarrass myself and make myself look super silly and not wanted to. With the question….”What if I pray and they don’t get healed?” or What if I tell them about Jesus and they make fun of me” or one that was at the start challenging and the end always fruitful “What if no one stops to hear us sing”, Yes, all of us I am sure have been put in some sort of position where God is challenging us to step past our doubts or discomfort and realise that He wants to say “What if they get healed?” “What if they decide to follow Jesus?” What if they stop and hear what I have to say?”.

God continues to raise us against our comfort zones to prove He is God and He is bigger than everything and He wants to use us.

When we use to do street live at the train station in Japan to invite people to church, I can tell you it was challenging. But over and over again we met people who wanted to come to church, know God and hear that He created them beautifully, that they matter and that they are loved. I met one girl who stopped because I was just joking around “freestyle rapping” but she saw freedom and joy, because of this moment she came to church,  wanted to know Jesus and now has that joy for herself, going to India on a missions trip and helping those who need it most!

Never underestimate what God wants to do, don’t let fear or embarrassment stop you, don’t run away but see God do something great through you!

 

You are doing it wrong.

I went to the park with my son who must of been about 1 and a half at the time. We had a small local playground at the end of our street which consisted of two swings and a slide.

Koa really wanted to go on the swing but it had been hitched up so that it could swing higher for bigger kids. I started trying to untangle the swing and get it to come down a few notches, and I just couldn’t do it. After a few minutes a little voice came out from across the park which said “Your’e doing it wrong”. It was a little 5 year old girl who proceeded to show me how to bring the swing back down again.

I just got schooled by a five year old. She knew more than me.

How many times do we feel like we don’t know enough to give something of value to others, or that others may not have enough “experience” to teach us something.

I really learnt that day that I can learn from anyone at any age and I always have something to give this earth that someone needs. No matter what stage of life that they are in.

Don’t limit yourself by looking at others without value, you may just learn something from them, and don’t limit others by holding back what you have inside to give!

Our experiences and lives may all look slightly different and that’s what makes us all important for helping each other out. Remind your kids that, remind yourself that and always be ready to be a student and teacher.

 

1 Timothy 4:12 New International Version (NIV)

12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

Why I gave up my religion

We walked into the basement of the venue….late, my husband and I got off at the wrong train station and then we walked over 20 minutes to where the church service was being held in Yokohama, Japan. I didn’t really want to go in the first place. I had not been to church properly for over 2 years and my plane ticket to Japan was suppose to be a ticket from people asking where I was on Sunday or if I wanted to go to church this week. Yet, here I was walking in late to a service in the middle of the city in Japan.

That day I gave up my “religion”. The realness of Why we were there and Why I had felt such a draw to Japan was in this very moment. As soon as I walked in the room with band playing, my heart felt home. And I knew THIS IS WHY. I had crossed the open sea and God was waiting for me.

Religion comes in a lot of forms. I think as a Christian I have to be careful that I don’t fall under the mistake of following a religion but living my beliefs and realities with Christ. Growing up knowing “right and wrong” and just trying to live right won’t be enough, and we will always eventually fail and feel guilty, instead I started pursuing Christ, reading his word, discovering what He wanted for me, acting out of obedience and love to what I thought was my next step towards greatness and every time falling more and more in love with Jesus and less and less with “Religion”.

It’s not about following “rules” (religion) but about following Jesus (life). God doesn’t want us in pursuit of following rules and doing everything perfect, He wants us to discover his huge love and passion for us no matter where we are at and from that everything else will follow.  I wasn’t sharing Christ with others because I had to, but because I wanted them to discover him. I wasn’t showing up early  to set up at church because someone expected me to, but because it was a privilege and I was excited to, I wasn’t reading my bible and worshiping God to tick it off my list but to genuinely hear from Him. The church is suppose to be there for us to gather around our passion for Jesus and how He can transform lives, don’t go to show face, don’t go to make yourself “fell good”. Go to discover, go to be around people who will build you up, go to build up others, and number one find your relationship with Christ, worship, read his word and don’t be afraid of failing but be ready to fall in Love all over again, because there is nothing more refreshing that new love.

What an incredible journey, adventure and fun I have with Christ. Discovering everyday a little bit more of what he has in store. Even now I find myself looking ahead with great anticipation and expectant to see more happen in my life. It is sweet and beautiful and sometimes scary, but  living with Christ is the best and surely when I gave up my “religion” and started a full on pursuit for Christ, everything became more fruitful and I didn’t just grow fuller but my fruit could help others too.

 

1 Corinthians 10:31 New Living Translation (NLT)

31 So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Don’t be fooled

There’s a common thing that happens to surfers when we go out into the sea, after checking the surf, we paddle out and then while waiting for a set of waves to roll in, looking down to our left or right and the waves look like they are breaking better and more frequantly, If we paddle down and look where we just were, guess what? The waves look like they are breaking better and more frequently there! If you’re not careful you can end up spending your time paddling to and from and just wishing you were at either place!

I have to remind myself in that situation not to be fooled, which is sometimes so hard.

Quite often if I am patient the waves will come to me or it’s just an illusion that it’s better either side of me.

Hello, real world. What about our life situations?

We may feel when we look to the left or to the right at someone’s else’s life or on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagra, other families , lifestyles that life would be better “somewhere else” or our situation would be so much more fulfilling doing what “someone else is doing”.

The thought “if only” will kill your joy and ability to enjoy life where you are at.

If only I had a partner who was like this.

If only I had this thing.

If only I lived in that country.

If only I had a family like that.

If only I had more money.

If only I had more time.

If only I was taller, smarter, funnier, more talented.

Then I would be happy.

Setting goals and pushing forward towards your best is such a great and powerful thing to do, but it is also important to learnt how to find joy and happiness where you are now, enjoying being patient, achieving things, being content with what you have, because unless we learn how to be able to be filled with joy where we are at now there is no job, no partner, no place, no material thing, that will make you find it because it comes from within.

Enjoy your place now.

Enjoy your relationships now.

Enjoy where you are at in your life now.

Be content and see how much it can transform your life!

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.”

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭6:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Uproot

We’ve just started cleaning up my Mums property this week after years, maybe 10 or more of letting plants just grow. This house is not like your average backyard, it is a pretty huge section with trees, blackberry bush and craziness taking over.

I remember when some of the vines were tiny and picking of a few berries as a teen.

Now the roots run deep, it’s even hard to find where the source is, some vines had pulled down fences and our friend even came in with a digger to rip bushes out. But when we pulled them out and cut, dug, ripped those tree and bushes out we were all surprised how much room there was and how much light was getting into the section.

Oh how much is this like our lives. When we have something undealt with. An issue, hurt, insecurities, areas of weakness, unforgiveness, things we think we can just leave and walk away and months or years later we find ourselves crossing boundaries we have put up, saying, thinking or acting in ways which are not in line with how we would like to live, or helpful for a fruitful life.

It’s almost hard to find the root of the problem or the cause sometimes. “Why am I getting so angry?” …”Why can I not control that area of my life?”…..”Why am I so sensitive to those words”, I don’t know what it is but I know it could be a list of things for many people.

We can’t just leave things to “be” and hope time will make it “go away”.

We need to be open to cut down those brunches and find the source and uproot it. Getting healing and help through Jesus is the absolute best way and he sometimes makes us work through it slowly cutting each brunch and in some amazing points He comes in with that powerful word which is like the digger pulling everything out from the roots.

I am choosing to keep an eye out for any “brunches” that don’t look fruitful, cut them and uproot the source before it gets out of hand and am so excited for all the room there is for growth and fruitfulness in all areas of life as I do this.

It’s a New Year and isn’t that the best time to reflect and decide to do the best for yourself and those around you by letting Him transform you into your best!

Happy gardening 🙂

Things start out small 

When we plant any seeds, in the natural we expect a harvest. 

I tried gardening once….it was pretty bad. I don’t have a green thumb that’s for sure and to be honest I’m pretty neglectful and lazy when it comes to watering, weeding and getting rid of bugs. My landlord once saw my garden and felt sorry for me, it was pretty funny. The next day my Landlord came and planted a whole lot of tomatoes that he had grown from seeds, he would care for then every day and of course they reduced beautiful tasting tomatoes! 

When we plant in our lives in differnt areas we will get something from it.

You want better friends? Sow seeds of good friendship, stop and ask “Is this going to be a good seed or am I planting a weed?”.
For friendships:

Praying for our friends, encouraging, giving, to them, spending time together. You want better environment at work? What seeds are you planting? Is this word I’m speaking or Attitide I have and am I saying good things about my work collegues or boss. 

Is this a Good seed or a weed?

We can plant seeds daily towards many areas of our lives; work, love towards others, love towards self, relationships, healing, finances, gift development, spiritual, goals.

No one has a garden and decides to plant weeds. So why do we do it so many times in our daily lives? 

 Asking God to take away the bad more room for good is a great way to “garden” our lives. 

I’m sure we all want greatness and good stuff in our lives and the results always come from the small seeds that we plant today. Keep planting and being aware of what “kind” of seed you’re planting and have vision to see something big and great come from it! 
“Surely he says this for us, doesn’t he? Yes, this was written for us, because whoever plows and threshes should be able to do so in the hope of sharing in the harvest.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭9:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬